Hi I’m Rebecca. I spend most of my time rolling my eyes at Matt, and eating cheese. I’m very sensitive, so when I’m not working in PR, I’m apologising for Matt on his behalf, usually following comments like: “That was a yawn out of interest.”
Any other time I have I spend either reading The Weekend Australian Magazine; telling Matt he looks manly on his request when he wears a singlet, or trying to make Molly look funny, so I can be popular on Instagram.
Matt likes getting outdoors, whereas I prefer saving lots of unfinished word files on his desktop, in order to watch him panic from the chaos that is “misfiled documents”.
We’re similar in that we both didn’t know you’re not supposed to feed dogs onion, or, camembert.
Hi I’m Matt. I’m Rebecca’s psychiatrist, chef, chief entertainment officer and killer of bugs/snakes/spiders/et al. I like to cook, write, drive too fast, drink wine, collect expensive cars, lament how I don’t have enough cars, eat expensive sushi and tell Rebecca she spends too much money on lunch. Since moving to the country I’ve learnt to:
a) Herd cattle with a rake
b) Identify the brand of 4WD tyre by its tread pattern in the sand
c) Drink XXXX Gold
I wrote a book once and as a result Rebecca’s Dad still refers to me as ‘Hipster’. He thinks he is hilarious but my wedding speech was better than his and I am sleeping with his daughter, so I win.
I like Rebecca because she is funny and smart and pretty and her idea of an awesome Friday night out is drinking too much wine at the kitchen table, talking about stupid frivolousness and picking songs on Spotify. Which is pretty much my idea of an awesome Friday night. That’s why we got married.
She says funny things sometimes and I say funny things sometimes, but not as often as we pretend we do. On Saturday mornings after I’ve gone and got her four or five newspapers and I’ve had avocado on toast with tomato relish and Swiss cheese, we sit down at the computer and pretend we don’t like each other as much as we do and we blog about it. We really love each other though, I think she’s very nice.