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Blog Relationships

Matt realises it has been five years since the last blog post

After a fight on their honeymoon in 2012, Matt and Bec had decided to start a blog so they had a project to work on together. It was going to be a ‘relationship building’ exercise. This was when blogs were still a thing, before TikTok reduced the attention span of the average internet user to 1.75 seconds. At the time they were both writers living in the country with not much else to do. The project was a success and even spawned a broadly unread column in the local newspaper (when local newspapers were still a thing) about a young couple who moved to the country.

After three years of regular updates, the relationship building exercise seemed to have worked, and our heroes found themselves five weeks out from the birth of their fist child and up all night on a ‘babymoon‘. Fast forward another five years, and the blog had gone mysteriously dormant.

Matt: Hey Darling, do you know we haven’t blogged in five years? We should start blogging again.

Bec: No.

Matt: Why not?

Bec: Because that would mean I’d have to work with you and I have better things to do with my time than work with you.

Matt: I’ve seen you in your spare time. You sit on the couch watching old episodes of The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills and Million Dollar Listing New York.

Bec: As I said, I have better things to do than work with you.

Matt: Well, I think it would be relationship-building. And we have SO much to update our readers on. They’re all probably wondering what happened – whether we had the baby, whether we’re still in the country. All that.

Bec: What readers?

Matt: We have readers.

Bec: You mean your ex-girlfriend?

Matt: No. We have lots of readers. I’ll check Google Analytics and show you.

*Five minutes later*

Matt: At our peak, our blog averaged 12 visitors a day. That’s huge!

Bec: How long did that peak last?

Matt: One day. But it was a strong day.

Bec: Was that the day you kept refreshing the browser window to boost our following so you could sell ads on the blog?

Matt: Maybe.

Bec: I’m not blogging with you.

Matt: That’s OK. I know you’re busy right now. I’m just going to leave this computer here open and you can write something when you feel ready.

*Five minutes later*

Matt: You haven’t written anything yet.

Bec: Correct.

Matt: Why not?

Bec: I’m watching Million Dollar Listing New York. It’s an important episode. It’s the one where the millionaire gets angry because the agents can’t get the asking price.

Matt: That’s every episode of Million Dollar Listing New York.

Bec: I’m not blogging with you.

Matt: Fine. I’ll blog by myself.

Bec: Fine.

Matt: Just so you know, I’ll be telling everyone how you have terrible taste in TV shows.

Bec: That’s fine. I’ll start a TikTok account which is just short videos of you snoring and not taking the rubbish out.

Matt: Even with a potential global audience of a billion randoms, that won’t get more than one view a day.

Bec: And that will be one more than your blog will get.

Matt: Our blog.

Bec: Incorrect.

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