Pie shops claiming to be famous which are, in actual fact, not famous: A special investigation – Part I

I’m a glass half full kind of person. I tend to give advertising, governments and anyone whose surname is not Milat the benefit of the doubt. I don’t look at Colonel Qaddafi and see an evil dictator, I see a man with a courageous sense of fashion and a proletariat problem. Spilt milk, for me, isn’t an occasion for tears, it’s an opportunity for cats to dine bowl-free. Almost nothing gets my goat, in fact, I give goats away as Christmas presents to the surprise and feigned delight of family members who were expecting something more useful and less philanthropic.

I do have irks though. Two of them. Chief irk is volcanos. They are scary and they hate me. Irk number two is pie shops claiming to be famous which are, in actual fact, not famous. Over Christmas I drove from Brisbane to Melbourne and back. On my journey I stopped for a pie at every single boutique bakery on Highway 1. One hundred per cent of them claimed to have award-winning pies. an alarming ratio claimed to be ‘famous’. It is my hypothesis that few, if any, of them are, in actual fact, famous.

In the name of science I have commissioned a survey. The survey is titled “Pie Shops: Famous or not famous“. There are seven very simple questions and I would very much appreciate your responses as an Australian/pie eater/human. In completing the survey you will be shown the name of a variety of pie shops and asked whether or not you have heard of them. If less than 50% of survey respondents have heard of a particular pie shop, I will deem it to be ‘not famous’. If that pie shop claims to be famous, I will inform them of the survey results and advise them of the error of their ways. If a pie shop turns out to be, in actual fact, famous, they will be given an award and their fame will increase.

As an incentive for completing the survey I will personally choose, at random, one respondent to receive a free pie from the pie shop which turns out to be the most famous.

If you feel any pie shops have been omitted please advise in writing via the comments section below.

Results will be published in the next issue of Matt

If you have pie-eating/Australian/human friends please feel free to encourage them to take the survey in the name of science. A map of the pie shops is here for reference.