Welcome

Matt: It’s 3am and you’ve been rolling around for two hours. What’s going on? The bed hasn’t seen this much action since our wedding night. Bec: I’ve got news for you if you think the bed has ever seen two hours of action. Matt: Well, some of us are trying to sleep. I’m sure the […]

Matt: Let’s buy a boat! Bec: We live 200km from the sea. Matt: … Bec: We’re not buying a boat. Matt: What about our dream of buying a yacht and sailing it home from The Mediterranean Sea? Bec: What are you talking about? Matt: I told you this the other day. Our retirement plan. We […]

The vineyard’s progress had stalled, so Matt had fewer things to do on the weekend. After nearly 12 months in the country, Bec decided now was an opportune time to test his real rural mettle. Bec: Which famous bushman are you most like, and why? Matt: Well to start, the word is bushie. You’re obviously […]

Nobody knows whether it is actually recycling bin night. One person on the street takes a chance and the rest follow their lead. The average supermarket avocado has been squeezed by 427 other customers before you buy it. If your question to your husband begins with “have you seen my…” you’ll only ever get two […]

Matt: I’ve got a surprise for you darling! Bec: You’ve learnt how to budget? Matt: I picked up my gun today! I’ve got it right here. Want to see it? Bec: Get that thing out of the house! I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to know where it is. Store it somewhere […]

Chick on entrance booth: That’ll be a hundred and sixty dollars Matt: Oh, sorry, I think you’ve misunderstood, I didn’t want to pay for the busload of Japanese tourists who are standing over there in the car park next to the bus. It’s just me and Rebecca here. Chick on entrance booth: Yes, it’s eighty […]

Bec: Now, we need to set some ground rules for this road trip. Matt: Yes we do. As driver, I’m in charge of the windows. I pick up or down. If the windows are down at speeds greater than 60km/h I find it distracting. Bec: Molly gets anxiety, and likes the window down so she […]

Matt: Just so you know, I’m not buying lunch today NOR an ice-cream. Because I’m a saver. And, a good boy. Bec: Seriously? You’re not getting credit for that Matt. Matt: I made my lunch yesterday too. That’s two days in a row, surely I get some sort of credit. Or a massage or something. […]

Their chicken had been limping for some time, but never this bad. She’d already had one trip to the vet. The vet had given them some anti-inflammatory medication, which was administered orally via syringe. The used syringes had lain discarded around the house in various cupboards, much to the consternation of enquiring mothers and fathers […]

Bec: You never listen to me. Matt: I do listen to you. Bec: I always talk about the five love languages. What are they? Matt: You want me to name the five languages? Bec: Yes, recite them. Matt: Gift-giving is one. Bec: Yes. Matt: Touch is one. Bec: Yes, well, physical touch, but OK, that’s […]

They had driven from Toowoomba to the Hunter Valley for a Paul Simon concert and booked a lovely B&B for a romantic Easter long weekend. At the last minute the concert was moved to Newcastle. Luckily, Matt was able to find some accommodation close to the new venue. It wasn’t quite the Hilton. Matt: Oh […]

Rebecca is generally speaking, an optimistic, positive person. She smiles a lot and is, for the better part, lovely to be around. However, she does tend to worry more than most, and in any given situation will naturally gravitate to the worst possible case scenario. Here, revealed for the first time ever, are 10 of […]