It had been two years to the day since The Granfields’ wedding and to celebrate they had booked a stay at an exclusive eco lodge on the Freycinet Peninsula in Tasmania.
Matt: Hey Darling, look how lovely this is, what a nice cabin.
Bec: What’s that smell?
Matt: What smell?
Bec: I think it’s, like outdoorsy.
Matt: Do you mean fresh air?
Bec: Yes, I think that’s it.
Matt: This is a very exclusive eco lodge you know.
Bec: When you say ‘exclusive’, what do you mean.
Matt: I mean, it’s quite special. It’s in the national park.
Bec: But anyone can stay here right?
Matt: Well, yes, I suppose so.
Bec: So it’s exclusive to anyone who is staying here at the moment, anyone who has ever stayed here, and anyone who ever will stay here.
Matt: It has a lovely view of the bay, look out the window.
Bec: I can’t see the water, there are too many exclusive American tourists in the way.
Matt: How do you they are American?
Bec: I can hear them.
Matt: Well, the place had very good reviews on Tripadvisor.
Bec: Yes, I was reading Tripadvisor reviews of Freycinet. One American tourist had given the lookout a one star review because no one told him there were steps.
Matt: There are only two steps to our front door. I’m sure he would give this lodge a very good review.
Bec: Where’s the TV?
Matt: There is no TV. It’s an eco lodge.
Bec: I thought ‘eco’ meant ‘environmentally friendly’, not ‘environmentally boring’.
Matt: You don’t need a TV. We are at one with nature.
Bec: I don’t want to be at one with nature. I want to be at one with The Bachelor.
Matt: I thought that had finished?
Bec: There’s an exclusive interview tonight on The Project. Blake explains why he broke up with Sam so quickly after their TV engagement.
Matt: Maybe because he realised that after they had been married for two years he would have to explain to her that eco lodges didn’t have TVs.
Bec: I can’t believe there’s no TV.
Matt: They have some very nice hand cream in the bathroom.
Bec: See if you can use the hand cream to pick up Channel Ten then.